He will Hold me fast

We were at a Thanksgiving gathering this past week, and well, there were 70 people there. My wife's grandma's side of the family gets together on Thanksgiving every year. It is a very special thing. There are a lot of people at the gathering that I do not know, and it is so hard to understand who people even are when you only see them once a year. Kids, for instance, change a lot in a year. Sometimes adults change a lot in a year, too. What a difference a year can make. As I was sitting at Thanksgiving, listening to conversations about how people had changed over the course of a year, my mind went back to last year. On December 2nd last year, we were on the verge of a diagnosis, a process that seemed to take far too long. Of course, we now understand how complicated that process was, and we are so grateful it was just weeks, not years, like some of the people we have met with ECD.

On December 2nd last year, I wrote: "God is good, and we are a bit of a wreck. He is our strength, and He is where we find refuge. David understood the trouble and uncertainty of life and, in the midst of it, says: 'Blessed be the LORD! For he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy. The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him' Psalm 28:6-7." Over the past year, there have been a lot of 'changes,' but what hasn't changed is that God is still good and I am still a wreck. I was at McDonald's on Monday when an older lady approached me and asked, "What is the truth about hope?" She asked this because of my shirt, and I wasn't really sure how to answer for a moment. The truth about hope is the gospel. Jesus Christ is the only place true hope can be found. I explained to her that Jesus is the source of true hope, and that I wear the shirt because I have been writing about Gage's condition on thetruthabouthope.com. The lady and her husband were believers, and they said they would pray for Gage. I bring this up because in that moment, right after she asked me about my shirt, I had to "gather myself" before I could answer her. I am still a wreck. God is still Good.

We took Gage to the dentist this week and found out he has some cavities and other issues. Developmentally, he is doing well, but we know that a side effect of the medicine that he is on can be dental problems like this. So is it poor parenting or a side effect of the chemo? That is likely a combination of the two. In any case, Gage will need a little dental work, probably in Sioux Falls. We are heading to Rochester for Gage's three-month scans tomorrow, and we will talk to his oncologist about this and see if she has any advice—one more thing.

On Thursday and Friday, we have full days at Mayo. Gage will have an MRI of his head and also his heart. They are not doing the full-body PET scan this time because they don't want to expose him to the radiation if they do not have to (at least I believe this to be the case). In all of this, I am reminded of 1 Peter 5, particularly verses 6 and 7. We are exhorted to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God. Think about that for a moment. How do you do that? Well, I think there is an obedience avenue where we realize that God knows better than we do, so we submit to his rule and obey his commands. Anything else is arrogance, boasting in the face of God that we know what is best for ourselves and thus can create rules to govern our own lives (1 Peter 5:5).

There is another avenue here that we should not miss when thinking about how we might humble ourselves before the almighty hand of God (1 Peter 5:6). Peter could have merely said that we are to humble ourselves before God, but he chooses to draw our attention to God's power and sovereignty. There is an active or outward way of humbling ourselves before the almighty hand of God (obedience). Still, there is a prerequisite: we recognize that the all-wise God of the universe is in perfect control of all things. Most Christians would eagerly confess God's omnipotence and sovereignty, but many struggle to believe it. How do we know this? Two reasons. The first is a lack of obedience. If we truly believe God to be all-powerful and in control of all things, we would desire to please Him, for no other reason than fear of displeasing the sovereign God of the universe. A second reason we know that many struggle to believe in God's sovereignty is that when times get difficult, and foundations seem to shake, they turn away. Much like the rich young ruler (Matt. 19:16-22), who thought he had it all together, is faced with some difficulty and walks away from Jesus with his proverbial tail between his legs. In Matthew 24, the Olivet Discourse, Jesus is answering the disciples' questions about the prediction of the temple's destruction. He tells them, "Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and put you to death, and all nations will hate you for my name's sake" (Matt. 24:9). Guess what the very following words are? "And then many will fall away..."(Matt. 24:10). A couple of verses later, in verse 13, Jesus declares that the one who perseveres to the end will be saved (Matthew 24:13). If God is truly in control of all things, then why would one "fall away" when the world around them rises against them? We know that tribulations, distress, and even death cannot separate us from the love of Christ Jesus, so why would we abandon him in the midst of these things (Romans 8:35-39)? We do not really believe that he is in control of all things. We all have choices when the world seems to come crashing down. We can abandon Jesus by walking away from what we had previously believed, or we can trust the one who has promised never to abandon us by cleaving to Him even more (Hebrews 13:5-6). I chose the latter and pray that the Lord, no matter how difficult things may be, grant me the grace and power to persevere, for I cannot on my own. I am not strong enough. I am weak. But He is strong enough to keep me, and it is in Him I trust.

Thank you all for your support and prayers - it continues to mean the world to us.

But I call to God,

and the Lord will save me.

Evening and morning and at noon

I utter my complaint and moan,

and he hears my voice.

He redeems my soul in safety

from the battle that I wage,

for many are arrayed against me.

God will give ear and humble them,

he who is enthroned from of old, Selah

because they do not change

and do not fear God.

Psalm 55:16-19