O My Soul...

I was thinking this morning about compliments and criticism. It is a funny thing to think about, I know. I was thinking about these two things because I am in the midst of sermon preparation. I am so deep in the midst of it that my mind wanders off a little to stuff about compliments and criticism. Over the years, I have found it fascinating that some people will complement a sermon, and others will criticize it for the same reason. I am sure every pastor has experienced this. I am not saying this happens every week, but it has happened.

Not only does my mind wander to things like that, but lately, my mind has often wandered away from John's gospel (This is what I am preaching through) to the Psalms. Why the Psalms? There are at least two reasons, the first is that they are full of raw emotion. I am not an emotional person. I have not seen myself as emotional, but lately, I find so many sentiments of the Psalmist that I could have written. The way the writers of the Psalms navigate their emotions is both scary and refreshing -- and, at the same time, exceedingly complex. On one level, they pour their heart out to God with an air of freedom that makes one pause and say, "Did he really just say that?" There is another dimension where the reader finds comfort because they know they are not alone. Even the writers of Sacred Scripture struggled with the complexity of emotions as they navigated hardship.

I am drawn to the Psalms because of the raw emotion and also because they always orient me and get me pointed in the right direction. They have become like a spiritual compass -- when I am lost, the Psalms have helped me find my way. Certainly, I don't want to suggest that the trials that we are facing in our house are equal to what the Psalmist was facing or that our trials are heavier than others. When you walk through difficulty, I have learned that it opens your eyes to the trials and tribulations of others. This is another lesson from the Psalms: we are not alone when it comes to trials. God has used the Psalms to speak to countless sufferers who are walking along the road of great difficulty.

Let's take Psalms 42-43 as an example. Why these two? I have found myself coming back to these Psalms over and over for the past couple of days. Let me note a couple of things at the onset. These two Psalms are the first in the second division in the Book of Psalms. The Book of Psalms is divided into "Books," and Psalms 42 and 43 start the second book. Where Psalms written by David characterize the first book, the same is not true for the second book. In this second section (Psalms 42-72), there are eighteen written by David, one by Asaph, one by Solomon, and seven by the Sons of Korah. So, where the first section has David as the only given author, in the second book, there are several authors identified. When it comes to these two Psalms, the author is identified as the Sons of Korah, which is very interesting. It was interesting because when the Israelites were wandering in the wilderness, it was Korah who led a rebellion of 250 leaders against Moses and died because of God's judgment (Numbers 16). For some reason, the Sons of Korah were spared (even though the families of the others who took part in the rebellion against Moses died). The Son of Korah must have recognized God's grace and mercy and dedicated themselves to writing and performing the music praising God in the Temple.

Not seeing these two Psalms as a single unit would be a mistake. There are a number of reasons for this, but let me just point to a couple. First, in many Hebrew manuscripts, these two Psalms are joined together as one, and second, there is no introductory title which indicates unity with the preceding Psalm. We could give a third reason, a reason that is the most compelling reason to take them together, and that is because the subject of both Psalms is spiritual depression.

Spiritual depression. That is a fascinating subject. It sounds like an oxymoron because we do not think those two things are supposed to go together. The tendency is to believe that if one is depressed, then they are not spiritual. To state the same thing differently, the spiritual one does not suffer from depression. This just isn't true; the fact of the matter is that all Christians face times of depression, a fact illustrated by the popularity of a book written by D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones in 1965 -- the book was entitled "Spiritual Depression: Its Causes and Cure." This book was one of the most widely circulated and popular books he wrote because so many people, Christians included, are walking through times of depression and looking for its cure.

Psalms 42-43, like the Book by D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, discuss spiritual depression, pointing out its causes and to God's solution. I find it fascinating that the Lord knew that his people would struggle with spiritual depression and would need a Word from God Himself to solve it. The Lord used Lloyd-Jones' book to point us to what the Scriptures teach us—to point us to the solution found in God's word.

If you look at Psalm 42-43, notice what he says and the rawness of it. Everyone knows the first line: "As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God." What is left unsaid about that verse is that the Psalmist is in a place where he feels as though the Lord is absent. He goes on to tell us that his tears have been his food day and night while people say to him all day long, "Where is your God? He pours his soul out to God and remembers leading processions and praise in the Temple but immediately asks, "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?" He goes on to say, My soul is cast down within me, and then in verse 9, "I say to God, my rock: 'Why have you forgotten me?'" He speaks of mourning and compares his situation to physical harm; all the while, people continually taunt him by asking where his God is. So twice, we read that the people around him are mocking him by asking where His God is. I don't know what he tells those who taunt him, but I do know what he says to God - he asks why God has forgotten him. Don't miss the picture. The picture is of one who trusts in the Lord and who is suffering greatly, and people are saying, "If your God cares about you, why does He leave you in such misery?" And the Psalmist doesn't know; in fact, there is no evidence of God's concern for his current situation, for it seems as though he has been forgotten.

I, too, feel forgotten. I don't know how else to say it. The rawness of the Psalmist's words touches my soul because where I am resonates. The Psalmist knew that he wasn't forgotten, and I know that God doesn't forget his Children but always acts in their best interest.

There is a refrain throughout these Psalms, and it is the refrain that we read in the last verse of Psalm 43. "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." The repetition indicates that the Psalmist realizes that he must continually be reminded of what he knows to be true. To put our hope in ourselves, insurance programs, medicine, social workers, or doctors will always let us down. We put our hope in God. The Psalmist realizes, amid his spiritual depression, that the final word will not be defeat but God Himself. We do not know what He is doing and do not need to. We trust. Amid life's circumstances and spiritual depression, we hope in God.

If you have made it this far, we ask you to continue to pray for all of these people involved in the insurance decisions that will be made. I don't understand why things are taking so long (and yes, we have been pushing) but it sounds like something will be happening soon. I think about all of these things, and there is a way that seems simple to me, but at the same time, how do I know that is what is best? We don't, so we trust the One who does!

Thanks for your prayers. We continue to be overwhelmed by the great number of people who are praying for Gage's healing and our family. You all have been a tremendous encouragement to us, and words cannot express our gratitude.